August 7 2012, 6pm
THINGS I DO INSTEAD OF WORKING ON MY MACHINIMA PROJECT
- eat cereal
- fuck about in FL Studio
- spend basically a whole day customizing my desktop
- build random shit that has nothing to do with it in the engine
- talk to piedoomy
- fuck about in paint.net
- fuck about in blender
- fuck about in general
- fuck about
- i dont even know
August 3 2012, 12am
Jacbob Rants About: Pumkin
That pumpkin really is an asshole. I mean, he walks into a restaurant, demands food and when he doesn’t like something, he throws it across the room! Then when he’s finally satisfied from eating EVERYTHING in the restaurant, he leaves without even paying! Rude! He doesn’t even say please or anything! He’s all like “GIVE ME THE [x]”, then eats it all loud and shit without even closing his damn mouth. Oh, and the worst thing, you give him everything for free, and when he’s done he’s all like “that wasn’t bad.” and doesn’t even say thanks! 100% Douchebag right there!
He’s really creepy too! When he walks, his legs don’t move. He just kinda…
June 11 2012, 5pm
Why can’t my family read emotion?
First of all, I seem to have been really depressed and self-conscious recently, which I believe has lead to me showing more signs of depression and what not. This morning I even burst out shouting at my dad because I wasn’t quite ready for exam week (Today was actually quite good) but he didn’t even ask me if there was anything wrong and just said “okay I’ll see you in the car then”.
I seem to be becoming more and more detached from my usual happy-go-lucky personality. I have to finally admit that I miss my home. Not my ‘home’ here but my actual home where I grew up (for the first 10 years of my life at least). We still own it but we can’t afford to move back there for four years, by that time I’ll have finished school and be moving on to university (and I’ll probably go to an American university so I can major in game design and minor in media studies).
I remember being like this when I first moved here, when I was younger, I could hardly contain my emotion, and now I’m older, I can hardly release it either.
My first few weeks at this British school of mine were full of me staying up late into the night in tears because of how hard it was to cope with the new environment and social etiquette. I’m once again finding myself in that state but perhaps, more controlled, being that I’ve been in this country for at least 4 years now.
My brother is finishing his years at University and has pretty much earned his degree in Philosophy and Psychology but even he can’t seem to tell that something’s wrong with me. Terribly wrong, I don’t know how I’d tell anyone and I’m just confused. There’s so much more that’s depressing me, but the main cause is my homesickness mixed with the lack of friendship in this country. (Where I used to live, I had all the friends)
tl;dr: I’m depressed as fuck and no one seems to give a damn.